Why Trying to Be a Perfect Parent Actually Makes Parenting Harder
Why Trying to Be a Perfect Parent Actually Makes Parenting Harder
“There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.”
— Sue Atkins
Being a parent is hard. You want to give your child the best life possible and raise them to be kind, confident, and resilient. But no matter how much love and effort you put in, some days you just feel like you’re falling short. You lose your patience. You say things you wish you hadn’t. You feel frustrated or even defeated.
Here’s the truth: every parent struggles sometimes — and that doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you a real one.
Even if you could raise your child “perfectly,” they’d be unprepared for the real world. Life isn’t perfect — and the people they’ll meet (friends, teachers, bosses, partners) won’t always be either. One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is helping them learn how to handle those moments — the disappointments, frustrations, and failures — with resilience.
Resilience isn’t about avoiding pain or mistakes. It’s about recovering, learning, and growing from them. And that starts with you.
The Pressure to Be Perfect
Our culture loves to romanticize family life — the smiling photos, the calm dinners, the “#blessed” moments. But behind every picture-perfect post is a parent who sometimes feels exhausted, lonely, or overwhelmed. Society tells us we should always love our kids unconditionally — it doesn’t mean we feel loving every second of the day.
Parenting stirs up a whole range of emotions: joy, frustration, guilt, anger, pride, fear. It’s okay to have all of them.
This is where therapy for parents can make a big difference. It gives you space to talk about your experiences honestly — including the parts that are messy or painful. It’s a judgment-free zone where you can sort through your feelings, find perspective, and release some of that built-up stress.
Because as much as friends and family may care, they can’t always offer the kind of support or understanding you need in those tougher parenting moments.
Filling Your Own Cup
When parents get the emotional support they need, they parent differently — with more patience, clarity, and compassion. That’s why those old sayings, “Put on your own oxygen mask first” and “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” ring so true.
Therapy is one way to refill your cup. For that hour each week, you get to focus on yourself — your thoughts, your feelings, your needs. It’s not selfish. It’s self-care. It helps you release your frustrations so that you can show up as the calm, grounded version of yourself that your child needs most.
And when you do lose your cool (because you will — we all do), therapy can also help you repair. Those moments of reconnection show your child something powerful: that love isn’t about perfection; it’s about honesty, effort, and forgiveness.
You Don’t Need to Be Perfect — Just Present
So, stop chasing “perfect.” Instead, aim for present. Your child doesn’t need a flawless parent — they need one who tries, who listens, and who knows how to say, “I’m sorry” when things go wrong.
Because when you model growth and repair, your child learns that real love isn’t about never making mistakes — it’s about always finding your way back to each other.
